Over.

Sugar

I need to vent out my feelings.
Why on earth do i have to go through all this myself?
I need support, human touch right now.
This moment.
My tears are welling in my eyes. Yet i can't cry out just like that. I'm at work.
Still gonna put on a brave front to pull through the day.
How sad.
Crying inside me.

Baobei Xav, as you see this post... My heart is crying out to you.
I'm seriously stressed up.
I'm holding on. Still.

You're the first thing, and last thing on my mind. Every single day.

Ps: I still wanna get the same phone as you. My mind is set.

Sugar

Anyway, he's still within the acceptable weight for a 180cm him.
I love to hug him, cus meaty meaty de. HAHA!!!
But, he's DEFINTELY NOT THOSE FAT FAT TYPE! He's just big-built. Even my dad agreed with me:)
Strong and muscular is what i find in him. * He must be happy seeing this! Hahaha:)

Well, i'm sort of like in the same boat as him. All thanks to him, "stuffing" me with food...
Still trying hard to maintain my weight. Not going to make it hit 50kg.

Saturday is coming!
I can't wait for it.

ps: I love sleeping beside you.

Sugar

It just seems like, the more you yearn for something to come, the more longer, and harder it seemed.
Looking forward to weekends. To be with you. Us. Our love.



Sugar

自卑

I guess i'll never get out of this circle.
I tried hard. I tried so many times. End result is : Fail.
Seriously speaking, i'm contented with what i have in life.
But this feeling, just keep mingling in me.
I can't stop myself from thinking back about the past of everything.
The thought of it, it makes me hate myself even more.
I hate myself. I hate the look of me.
我不配

I want to shut myself away. I'm nothing compared to them, in terms of everything. I wish i was like them. I wish i was better. I hope they're no longer in your mind.

PS: Help me get out of this shit. I want to forget and move on. I need your help.
Sugar

I wonder at times, if anyone still read my blog till today?

Mood fluctuation this days.
All thanks to my super duper low self esteem.
I wish someone can comprehend me. I didn't wanna be like that too, i mean it. I just simply can't help it.

Been listening to the song by Redwan " Would you be there" ... I know is an old song. But, i just simply love it.

Coincidentally, dar's day off falls on the same day as me last week.
So went SINGAPORE FLYER with baobei last thursday. Fun. At least it was not as terrifying as i thought it might be. Felt even more secure and safe with my dar around by my side.
Chilled and had movie watching together too. Had Swensen lunch with dar. Yummy! Baobei dardar ordered MEGA BURGER- and i can't helped it and laughed out loud when dar was "cursing " and stuffing that MEGA thingy into his mouth!!!
Is so nice having some time alone with just him. I missed it. I really do.
Can't wait for my next dayoff/ leave. I wanna spend with you. Just you only.

At least for now i know, you wanna be with me for -- ever last.
Me too. I mean it. What about you?

Sugar

男人全都是一样的。
永远爱美女。

所说的话，永远都是敷衍了事。
口不对心。
讨厌。

我下定决心，从此跟男人一样，说话不算数。